We Are Human and Life Happens

When I found out I was pregnant with my daughter, I immediately looked for prenatal yoga classes. I was strangely really excited to try this out! I loved it just as much as I thought I would! I never missed a class and even asked not to be scheduled at work during the time it happened, Thursday nights at 7 pm. The question "Would I continue postpartum?" didnt even cross my mind, I knew I was without a doubt because I had been making time for yoga since I was 15 years old waking up an hour before my bus arrived to squeeze in the time.

But after Amara arrived, it was a different story. I was sleep deprived, physically and mentally exhausted beyond my wildest imagination, tasks that were once simple like laundry and making myself a sandwich became daunting, and I had a new human being that demanded my attention 24/7. When my midwife informed me I could get back to my beloved yoga practice around 3 weeks, I smiled at her and responded with joy. What I wanted to say was, "but how?" Infact as I write this, Im asking the same thing for blogging! (Im currently babywearing my 9 month old, rocking back and forth, holding my labtop with one hand, typing with the other, and he's screaming in protest.) *I actually had to take a break for the little guy*

I posted in this blog three ways yoga and motherhood can co-exist with little tricks to make it easier and then this past week, I didn't practice yoga hardly at all. So did my tricks fail? No. Im just human and life happens, and thats okay! This doesn't mean you can always use this as an excuse to not practice, but it does mean you can forgive yourself.

Six months after my daughter was born I finally started to figure out ways to include my yoga practice regularly. By the time she was a year old, I was able to hire a babysitter and sneak out for mysore practice four days a week. Eventually I had a two hour morning routine, a two hour weight lifting routine at night, and twice a week, I went to a class for the primary series. I never skipped and had finally made a ritual of my practice I almost couldn't live without. The Yoga teacher I saw twice a week told me once, "Life happens, your yoga practice can come and go, so sometimes people don't show up to your classes for a while." At the time I didnt think this applied to me anymore.

Then I got pregnant with my second child. I was constantly nauseous and vomitting and I had separation pelvic disorder which feels pretty much exactly as it sounds. I knew really early on I wasn't going to be able to teach anymore and I never made it to a prenatal yoga class. After Bodhi was born, I felt ten times worse than I did after Amara was born. At first, I was angry with myself. I was going to have to work really hard to get back to my routine. I was envious too; instagram had so many beautiful pregnant yogis and I could barely climb stairs.

Then one day when I was breathing deeply; Inhale 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8, exhale 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8 while Bodhi nursed and I took in the early morning sunlight peaking through my window, I forgave myself. In just that act alone, I was practicing yoga.

When we forgive ourselves, we are allowing ourselves to be human and to take care of our needs off the mat and allow life to happen.

#yoga #practice #forgiveness #yogamom #life #offthemat