Non-Judgement in Motherhood

We are constantly judging without realizing it from referring to things as "mine," "bad" or "good." This categorizing allows us to separate ourselves from other people and events while at the same time boosting our ego. "If that were my kid I would...." "This traffic is making me late!"

"This cake is delicious!" It was easy to see how judging really did go off in my head without my conscious realization. The really tough part was recognizing all the judging that was going on in my own parenting.

"I yell at my kids too much." "I dont do enough for them." "I need to be a better mom." Or even worse, the judging I was transferring on to them! "You are being mean!" "Thank you for being good." "Share your toys!"

When I put into practice Non-Judgement in my parenting, I noticed something OMazing!

Stop Labeling Stuff as Mine or Yours If I stopped labeling stuff as "Mine" or "Yours" my children didn't feel this automatic right to claim something and I didn't either. (Because let's face it, "My cell phone" "My coffee" and everything else we view as specifically ours comes out of our mouths more than it comes out of theirs!) The fighting over sharing and territorial rights significantly decreased!

Not Labeling Anything as Good or Bad

Then came the even harder challenge! Not labeling anything as good or bad.

When I did though, I noticed something that really changed my parenting and my life!

Kids don't do things because they intend to be mean or bad. They actually have no negative intention, we label it as such! By labeling "bad" children and telling them that is what their actions are they feel that is what they are.

My son is a perfect example. He is fascinated with hitting, pushing, and coloring on my walls. He taught his older sister his ways as well. It was frustrating me to no end! Making my days hard and I developed a fear of raising him. "How was I going to do this? How was I going to correct all of his bad behavior?"

We were sitting outside coloring with chalk when this practice of non-judgement in motherhood hit me. He started coloring the walls...again. I decided to simply observe his behavior rather than immediately labeling it as inappropriate and refrained from punishing him for a moment. He was fascinated by coloring the walls. The walls were a different color and different texture than the concrete floor which resulted in a different experience while applying chalk to it. He then came over to color my face with the chalk and then back to the wall. He immediately started laughing, not an evil laugh mind you; it was a laughter of discovery.

See my son is only 13 months old. The world is still very new to him not only from how things feel differently when you apply chalk to them, but also the politics of appropriate and inappropriate behavior.

As children age their reasons for doing things change obviously, but removing the immediate need to judge somethings allows us to see that reasoning more clearly.

Remove Judgement and See The Beauty

Once I started practicing non-judgement I started to see how my children still lived in a magical world of wonderment and I started to learn from them.

It is still hard sometimes, I do have to remind myself more often than not moment to moment. Each day though, it gets a little easier.

Practicing non-judgement in my parenting has allowed me to develop not only a better understanding of my children, but also to develop the connection I have to them because we are all one and judgement only creates a separation between ourselves, our situations, and our earth when we are here to discover how we are one.

#nonjudgement #motherhood #yoga #children #parenting