Baby Moon

With my daughter back in 2012, I had this idea that I would have her and go back to work within three weeks. I mean, seriously how hard could it be? Im only birthing a watermelon out of my vagina.

Oh if you could only see me laughing hysterically at myself now! Motherhood comes with a lot of wake up calls and my first one was the lovely cannon ball feeling right in the middle of my freakin core! When they asked me at the birth center to walk to the car two hours after delivery, lets just say I considered it a miracle I even got to the car. And from there I would continue to feel pressure to clean my house, cook my own meals, entertain family, and go back to work early. It also took me a long time to heal.

Fast forward to 2015....a time when I was much smarter err realistic.

My son was born in our home, gently and romantically. (Note, I did not have to walk to a car afterwards). We were all resting in our bed, admiring our newest addition. His tiny fingers and toes, his soft hair and precious nose, just truly soaking in everything incredible about him. And we stayed home for four whole days, my significant other, my daughter, my son, and I. We had NO ONE over! Nino took care of Amara and I, I took care of my son nursing him and resting with him in our family bedroom. We named him a few days after his birth; Bodhi Arlo Mahaney. Bodhi and I wouldn't leave the house for the first time for 7 DAYS! We took the time to bond, to rest from one of the most physically draining experiences a human will EVER go through. There was absolutely no rush. It was pure bliss. I still felt like a canon ball went through me and left me hollow, but fortunately I had learned about belly binding. Problem solved. Oh and....I did mention I didn't get out of bed for days right?

They call this geniousness the baby moon.

When I decided to write about this topic that I feel like every woman on earth should experience, I discovered there are two versions. The first one requires planning a trip, packing luggage, probably sitting on a plane for several hours where you can't pee every twenty minutes, and your hormonal bitch crazy self dragging your poor partner along with you to hear you complain about every irrational inconvenience you have to go through just to go on said trip. Obviously not every woman feels this way about this type of baby moon, they are the very first thing to pop up on google, but the only trip I would go on as a pregnant woman would be to the spa. Dont get me wrong, I love travel, just not pregnant.

So the idea behind the second version of a babymoon is to give yourself time to heal, to bond, to rest, and to slowly recover to your old self.

1. Tell EVERYONE (Especially Mothers and Mother in Laws) that you just had a baby and will not be entertaining them and will not be introducing baby to family and friends right away. Dont feel bad about doing this, you have the right and more importantly than the right is the need to do this. They will be able to meet the newest addition soon enough.

2. Prepare your partner for your expectations. Tell them you will be recovering and wont be able to hold up your usual household responsibilities (including work, so if you are a portion of the income, be very clear to them to prepare to make up for the lost income through other means.) Months before I gave birth to my son, I flat out asked if he would be capable of making a raw placenta smoothie, he surprisingly said yes! I think this was also the moment he realized, he seriously would be taking on a lot during the postpartum period and he prepared himself and more importantly his boss that when the call came, not to expect him back right away.

3. Pick out your post birth meal! For me I wanted a raw placenta smoothie with my son. I picked out nut butter! We had all the ingredients on hand and it was divine! It was also a very packed smoothie so I felt great heading into my postpartum period.

4. If you have an AWESOME tribe, ask them if they would be willing to be on call for chores and meals. I unfortunately was new in town for both my postpartum periods, so I didnt have anyone to call for this. My mother did fly in to town a week after my son was born and made meals, cleaned the house, and even pre-made meals for us for up to a week so we were taken care of even after she left. This is a lot to expect of one person though, even if it is your mother, so don't be afraid to ask friends.

5. If you have other children, it is great to include them in the babymoon, but I would also plan for them to escape for a little bit. It is great for them to catch a break, a new sibling is a big change for them! Not to mention, it gives solo time for you, your partner if they are still home, and baby. We had a family who had a little girl the same age take our daughter out for the day when we had our son and it was really great for my partner. He was so busy taking care of all of us, he enjoyed the opportunity to take a break from watching her to bond with our son too.

6. Do something for you! For me this is always a hot bath with essential oils, reading a book, and meditation. I come out feeling like a new person! Obviously, make sure it is reasonable and something you can do easily.

7. Grab a few books or articles on postpartum and keep them handy. I read mine even before birth and tagged pages I knew I would want quick access to.

8. Remember, just because the baby is out doesnt mean you can jump right back into over the counter drugs. Especially if you are nursing. So I would have articles on herbs, oils, and healing recipes on hand. We prepared and had herbs, tinctures, and healing soups like bone broth available. We did need them too! We used dong quai for retained placenta, bone broth with tumeric for a high fever, and lavender and frankincense for my emotions.

9. Acknowledge your feelings, accept them, respect them, and make sure those around you honor them too. One that comes to mind is not feeling sexual. You just had a baby. You are healing, you are exhausted, you are taking care of a new life, do not feel like you have to be ready to have sex right now.

10. Write it down! Make a postpartum plan and make sure those taking care of you have it. One thing I will never forget is I really wanted grilled cheese and tomato soup for my first meal after my daughter. I dont remember what I did have, but I will always remember it was not what I asked for. Remember, YOU just labored for hours (maybe even days!) and a baby is about to be your main focus for the better part of the next two years to be honest with you, you deserve what you want after birth! So write it down!

So there you have it! Enjoy your baby moon!

#babymoon #yogamom #yogalasvegas #postpartum